Will ignoring homophobia get you anywhere? (read explanation before answering)?

i'm one of those unfortunate lesbians who constantly forgets i'm female. i don't have many (any) lgbt friends, and don't particularly need any. my friends are awesome. i've dated many girls who still claim to be "straight", and i consider these girls my type. i've only dated one lesbian girl, and the dynamic of our relationship was way different and i didn't really like it. (i'm a teenager, so girls are still pretty fluid. also - i live in san francisco. things have been pretty easy for me.)



the last thing i want to do is call attention to the fact that i'm not a "normal guy". i guess i'm a little bit transgendered, but not enough to put any effort into changing my body/pronouns.



also: i'm blessed to be one of those people who likes meeting others, striking up conversations on the bus, telling girls straight-up how beautiful they are even if i'm not tryina get in their pants, sitting in diners and listening to stories from randoms.



but i'm not gonna be a san francisco teenager forever.



i know that striking up conversations with people (esp girls) is going to have a completely different outcome once i travel to homophobic places and am a respectable adult who's supposed to conform to a respectable adult image. i'm completely willing to take disrespect or disgust when i try to start a friendly conversation, if it means i don't have to give up my "i'm a normal guy" routine or my "talk to whoever i want" spirit.



what i don't want is to have to put up defenses. i don't want to have to start standing up for my lesbianism or make it an "issue". the worst reactions i get currently are from the shocked people who realize i'm female and are kinda grossed out, but whaaatever. i'd like to hold onto the hope that, despite a million rejections, i'll will continue finding people who treat me like a regular guy even when i'm an adult.



is this a possibility? or will i have to start bracing my sexuality and coming up with anti-homophobic coping methods that will accentuate the fact that i'm a queer chick? i hope my question makes senseWill ignoring homophobia get you anywhere? (read explanation before answering)?
In many ways the anti homophobic techniques you have been talking about are already a part of who you are because of where you have been raised. Read past posts. Some people that come on here have been forced to attend classes to make them straight. Many have been raised by intolerant people that made them believe the worst about them selves. There are people who should not come out as minors because letting their parents know about them would put them in harms way.



It is good you understand that the whole world is not like San Francisco. Ignorance is not bliss. Furthermore - travel will broaden your mind. You owe it to your self to see how other places are in the world. Their are places in the world where you can be killed for being gay and then there are places more tolerant than where you are now.



I would say educate your self and get the support you need. Read up on gay hIistory and understand current lgbt issues. If you think you might deal with fundamentalists, get with a gay christian church and find out how they interpret the bible in a gay friendly way. Go through soulforce.org. Coming out support groups, youth groups and trans support groups exist for a reason. Maybe you don't need them now, but if life takes you elsewhere know how to get to them.



You don't have charge around the world making everyone think the way you do. But you should be educated and you should be able to back up who you are and what you believe in and why - with intelligence. Someone may well insult you in the future and you may not be able to respond at the moment, but you should have a sense of self and be able to move on. Gay community centers, gay churches and lgbt charities are really important in some places - many times they litereally save lives. Appreciate them. Support them. They have all in part made it easier for you to be raised in the kind of accepting environment that you have been raised in. There are many lgbt suicide victims that did not have that chance.Will ignoring homophobia get you anywhere? (read explanation before answering)?
You'll probably have to start embracing your LGBTQness. A lot of places are extremly homophobic. I wish that I could tell you different though.Will ignoring homophobia get you anywhere? (read explanation before answering)?
You sound a lot like me when I was a teenager: bold with a "f*ck society's rules, I'm me and proud" attitude.



I can tell you that "despite" having worked in straight-laced government jobs, I still have that bold "f*ck society's rules" attitude. I'm me and I'm proud. In fact, I would say that my boldness and attitude have aged very well, like a fine wine. For example, I consider myself more open now but less "in your face." By that, I mean that I'm willing to talk about anything (I used to be pretty guarded) but only as necessary. In other words, I don't walk up to people and proclaim how different I am...but I don't hide it, I just bring things up when relevant. Example: I'm a vegan but you wouldn't find that out unless you offered me food that had animal products in it.



As for telling people they're beautiful, that sh*t only gets MORE important as you age. People are flattered, not put off. As you age, you like to hear that you look good and most people (at least that I've seen) don't assume I'm hitting on them...they just accept the compliment and they accept it happily. In fact, I remember having a customer at work who always came in with a bad attitude until I complimented her muscles (it was obvious she worked out) and she smiled and got super chatty and was always happy to come in and see me...we're even Facebook friends now. People love hearing nice things :)





You're not going to be a San Francisco teenager forever, but at the same time you don't have to assume that everywhere you go outside of San Fran will be homophobic. I've lived in many parts of this fabulous country and I will say that even having lived in the south and the midwest, it's the west coast that I've seen the most racism and homophobia. The west coast is so awesome and has a lot of great things available, but so does the rest of the country.



And if you say you're comfortable getting disgust/disrespect as long as you don't have to give up your "routine," then why is it even something that bothers you?